I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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