Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
