Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
