We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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