Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize