the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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