Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
