haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I could fuck to npr.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
