I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
