it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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