The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
