i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize