Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
