Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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