My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let's paint friendship bongs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
