If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
do herpes really smell.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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