I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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