Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
