Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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