I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
