..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
