Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
