i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize