i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cut my penus on the lid.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
