In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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