I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
