Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize