nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize