Dual....:-)
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
