I want to make a zoo with you.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
