So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
