bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Randomize