I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
