it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
