yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
