yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We got so high we made milksteak
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
