You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
