all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
