I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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