video games are the ultimate cock blocker
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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