Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
