i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
