dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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