Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
