we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
