i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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