Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
