We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize