Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
