We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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