shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
