Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
