We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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