found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
