; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
