He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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