I'm drive I can fine osifer
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
