Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
