I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
