This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
