I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
