I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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