i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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