He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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