Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
