I cannot find my penis.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i think im in europe. pls send help
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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