i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
