So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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