sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it because I queefed?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
