If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
