So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
