I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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