I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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