I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
