I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
