So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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