that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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