Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize